Speak My Language
by Ice Cream and Brownies
Summary: In which England tries to teach Malaya English, and Malaya doesn't want to learn. No pairings, contains and OC, and rated T for Malaya's swearing. Beware of possible OOCness.


**Right... I'v actually been arguing with myself for a while now about whether or not to post this, and now I have. Please forgive me if you think I've portrayed your country in an offensive manner. But I'm Malaysian too, so... yeah. Also, I think England is rather OOC in this fic, so... be warned.**

**This story is mostly centred around my OC, Malaya and England. Two other OCs, India and Singapore, also make appearances, but they're very minor in this story. It's not Englandx****OC****, the way I see it, but... If you manage to see it, then, ok, I guess...**

**Constructive criticism is loved. Please be honest with your comments, but no flaming. **

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><p><strong><span>Speak My Language<span>**

"Repeat after me. She sells sea shells by the sea shore,"

Malaya sighed and made a half hearted attempt to repeat the phrase. The words felt heavy and awkward to her, and her accent made it sound different from how it was supposed to.

England frowned and slammed his hand down on the table, surprising her. "Pay attention. Try again,"

And she did. But it still felt as if she was speaking with pebbles in her mouth.

He sighed. "Clearer,"

"She shell... sell... sea..."

"Again,"

"She... sea... shell..." Malaya groaned in frustration and buried her face in her hands. Why'd she have to learn his stupid language anyway? She had her own, damn it, and she wanted to speak that!

England was growing impatient with his colony. He tapped the table loudly. "Pay attention, Malaya. Again,"

She glared at him for a while, and then pushed the books off her desk. She wasn't going to put up with this anymore.

"Saya pun tak mahu belajar bahasa awak ini! Celaka!"

Translation:_ I don't even want to learn your language! Bitch!_

Although the older nation had no idea what she had just said, her expression told him that it was something insulting.

"I think we need a translator," he remarked, frowning at her and giving her a glare that made even she wince. "Now, once again, from the top,"

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><p>The translator arrived the next day and the lessons continued, but Malaya was still as uncooperative as ever, and England was getting annoyed.<p>

"Is there a problem, Malaya?"

The translator repeated the question to her in her native tongue.

She huffed and crossed her arms across her chest. "Beritahu penjajah ini bahawa bahasanya kasar and mengelirukan,"

_Tell this intruder that his language is crude and confusing._

The translator looked at her, then at England. He didn't want to get his charge, or, more importantly, himself, on the bad side of the mighty British Empire. Perhaps he could stretch the truth a little...

"She said that your language is..." He thought of the best substitute for the terms she had used. "Complicated?"

England sighed. Honestly, that girl was too stubborn. "If you actually applied yourself, it wouldn't be so complicated. Besides, as a British colony, you are expected to know English,"

The translator gave his charge the translation. After hearing it, Malaya scoffed.

"Saya pun tidak mahu menjadi koloni awak! Pergi matilah kamu, cibai!"

_ I don't even want to be your colony. Go kill yourself, asshole!_

The translator paled. There was no way he could tell him that... Time for an outright lie.

"She says that even if that's so, it's still vey hard for her, since it's nothing like her native language,"

But before England could even say anything, Malaya was already on her way out of the room. Seeing this, the translator hurriedly asked her where she was going.

"Terlalu bosanlah di sini," she replied, sighing. "Saya hendak berlepak dengan Singapura," She gave England a smug smirk. "Jangan masak pada hari ini. Saya tak mahu diracun oleh makanan yang buruk kamu itu,"

_It's too boring here, I'm going to go hang out with Singapore. Don't cook today, I don't want to be poisoned by your shitty cooking. _

The translator froze for a while, a little lost for words — literally. How could he make that sound any less offensive...?

"Well?" asked England, a little impatiently.

The translator smiled shakily and turned to him. "She said that she was going to talk with Singapore, and..." That your cooking tastes like shit. "That she's take care of dinner,"

Then he ran out. England sighed and quietly wondered if he was being lied to.

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><p>England's suspicions only continued to grow as the — unsuccessful — lessons went on. The translator would say one thing, but Malaya's ever readable expression would tell him another. Also, despite his meagre understanding of Malay, he could have sworn he heard her say things like 'swine', 'stupid' and 'crazy'.<p>

But his suspicions were only confirmed when Malaya decided to add a little variety to her insults and use Chinese — one of several other languages she knew besides Malay.

"死人头," she said flatly, pointing at him.

By then, England had been dealing with China and Hong Kong for some time, so he had a basic understanding of Chinese, and he knew that she had basically called him an idiot.

"你叫我什么？＂He asked, or rather, in English, "What did you call me?" Chinese was definitely not his strong suit, but he knew how to string together simple sentences.

She looked surprised for a little while, then laughed, presumably at his pronounciation.＂我叫你死人头啊。有问题吗？＂

_I called you an idiot. Got a problem with it?_

England gave a cold stare.＂我想教你我的语言，可是你。。。＂

_I'm trying to teach you my language, but you..._

＂我也不想学你的语言！你都没有学我的语言为什么我要学你的？＂

_I don't even want to learn you language! After all, you never learnt me, why should I learn yours?_

There was silence for a while. Malaya was frowning, but a smile crossed the European nation's lips as he finally found a way to compromise with his colony.

"将，如果你学我的语言。。。我就学你的。＂

_Then, if you learn my language... I'll learn yours._

While Malaya was intrigued by that suggestion, she wasnt totally convinced yet. However, she kept quiet and let him continue.

England sighed. Did she want something more...? Well...＂我会让印度教你，＂

_I'll let India teach you instead._

After hearing that, she smiled and offered a hand for him to shake. It was such an innocent gesture, such an innocent compromise, England didn't have a single clue about what was really going on at the back of Malaya's mind...

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><p>England left for a much needed return home to Britain after that, then came back to visit his colonies in Asia several months later, refreshed and optimistic. He asked India about Malaya's English classes.<p>

"She's quite a fast learner when she wants to be. The only problem is getting her attention," said India. "But... She's added... Something to it..."

"What do you mean?"

India sighed. "You'll see..."

And he most definitely did see. Or hear, anyway.

Malaya saw him and frowned. "Aiyah, stupid lah you. When you're not here so seronok, want to come back so early for what?"

England looked at her, dumbstruck. This was even worse than America's version of English. "What language are you speaking?"

She grinned. "Cheh. I'm speaking English lah!" she retorted. "My version of it. Maglish, ah. Like or not?"

Like it? How could she even ask that question? "You've murdered my language! How... Why..."

Malaya's grin only widened. "Oh yeah, I taught Singapura English also,"

Singapore, who just happened to be passing by, heard his name and looked into the room. "What? Talking bad about me issit? Don't lah..."

England wasn't saying anything anymore. He just stared at his two colonies in shock.

And Malaya gave him her sweetest smile and whispered a single word into his ear.

"Dendam,"

England now knew that the word meant revenge.

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><p><strong>Alright, time for a little explaining.<strong>

**About England knowing Chinese - I sort of imagine England picking up at least a little bit of the native languages of his colonies.**

**Malaya knowing several languages - There are quite a few different races residing here, with different languages, so I imagine Malaya ****(who later becomes Malaysia)**** as someone who knows a few different languages. The ones that she knows best would be Malay, Chinese, and Tamil, I suppose, since they're the three dominant races. **

**Malaya's personality - In my head!canon, Malaya is a girl who is cheerful, friendly, and laid back, but also stubborn, mischievous and maybe even passive-aggressive at times. She can also be kind of lazy and argues with her older sister, Indonesia a lot, but that's not important in this story. **

**Malaya's way of speaking English - Malaya uses Manglish, which is Malaysian English. The main characteristics of Malaysian English is the use of direct translation (usually either from Malay to English or from Chinese to English), terms like 'lah', 'ah', or 'mah' at the end of sentences or phrases, and adding in words from other languages into otherwise English phrases. (For example, Malaya adds the Malay word _seronok_ in when she talks to England later in the story. _Seronok_ means fun.)**

**Singapore's way of speaking English - Singapore speaks Singlish, which is Singaporean English. Singlish is a lot like Manglish, only they add in more Chinese words and words from Chinese dialects. I imagined that Malaya invented Manglish to annoy England, and later taught it to Singapore, who stuck with it and created his own version of it, and that was what lead this little piece of f****a****nfiction to be. **


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